Leave-taking

“I am better at hellos” quipped Karen Blixen in one of my favorite scenes from Out of Africa, when she discovers that her husband is, yet again, leaving her alone on their Kenyan farm. I would imagine many of us would relate to Karen when the time comes to say good-bye to the ones that we love. It’s never easy, even with the assurance that one day, in one way or the other, we will meet again.

As we prepare for leave-taking with our Malawian friends, I have thought of the great difficulty I have had with saying good-bye over the years. The day before leaving is always the hardest. Emotions seem to run high and low. I always end up in a colossal argument with my mother on the way to the airport, dissolving in tears and my resolve to never allow her to drive me to the airport again. It is as if we are refusing to face the truth of our sadness at leaving by conjuring up some other pain as a distraction. Days later, once resettled in our respective lives, we remember how we have learned to love each other even at a distance.

At times I have wished to corral my family and friends into one place, keeping them safe and close. But, I know this is impossible, that we must learn to hold each other in our hearts, and envision new ways of relationship and care which transcends space, time, and geography. We can even teach ourselves to be grateful for the few hours we are given, an impromptu coffee date along an interstate thoroughfare. I realized I was getting better at coming and going when I viewed an hour conversation with an old friend not as too little time but instead as simply a gift. Despite the moments when I wish I would have stayed safely tucked in my original home community, I know it is impossible to prevent life’s movements-- friendships shift, people move, and loved ones pass away. None of us are immune.

For the past two weeks, our church community has been given a gift of face-to-face time with our Malawian brothers and sisters. We have smiled and laughed a lot, encountering parts of our home with them as if it were our very first time. We have been reminded of our unity even in the midst of our different cultures. We have come together, making a patchwork of memories which all of us, on both sides of the ocean, will cherish dearly. Saying goodbye to friends who live 8,000 miles away seems rather stark, worthy of tears to say the least. Yet, we do not know what future gifts of encounter await us. We do not know God’s ways or plans, but that His faithfulness endures. With this leave-taking, we give thanks for the gift of time that we have been given with our friends, and trust that in a myriad of ways, even from afar, our relationships will continue to grow and strengthen through the power and love of Jesus Christ.

Leave-taking Prayer

By: Saint Thomas More

If the heart grows heavy

As an adamantine stone

May some lost lark find refuge there

And a lilting song intone.

And if sadness sits upon your winter face

And heavy knits your brow

May spring descend with flowers bright

And laugh upon the broken bough.

If the road leads to deserts sere

And the soul is on sorrow's brink

May you find old Jacob's ancient well

And drink, and drink, and drink.